How to Handle Foreign Travel

"Dear Miss Manners: I recently made my first visit to a foreign country where the language, customs and general comportment were different from what I expect as an American.

Of particular concern to me was how I should have behaved when confronted with something I found unpleasant, uncomfortable or rude. Some of the examples are minor and probably stem from language difficulties, as when a waiter says, "Wine, lady?"

Others are more extreme. A man on a city street blocked my path to try to sell me something and wouldn't take "No, gracias" for an answer. A man asked my husband in front of me if he would like to buy his "other wife." A waiter seemed confused that I was bothered by finding hair in my food.

As polite behavior precludes accosting strangers on the street, I was unprepared for all of this. What would Miss Manners suggest for my next trip?

Gentle Reader: A different country."

(Yes, that's her complete answer to this woman. So let me be of a bit more help. When someone calls you 'Lady', smile and feel respected as it was likely intended. When a hawker gets carried away, grin and go around him. If that fails, point with a concerned look at something across the street and then go around him when he turns to look. Don't forget to to turn back around and toss him a sly wink as you walk away. He'll laugh at your ingenuity, he knows he's annoying.

And when someone asks your husband if he'd like to buy a new wife, chuckle and say with a wink, "Oh honey, he can barely handle me! Thanks though." In short, get a damned sense of humour or stay home. The problem isn't in the other country, it's in the attitude of the people traveling there. You cannot control the way other people act, but you can always control your own perception and reaction.)

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