Using cell phones on flights: Great idea, or the last, horrible gasp of human decency?

Oh my yes, please yes, open your giant purse or crack your bitchin' briefcase and whip out that swell little silver Motorola and pop in the earpiece and dial that bad boy right up.

Because you know what I'd love right now, sitting here right next to you right at this tedious never-ending airborne moment? Why, I'd love nothing more than to listen to you whine for the next 137 minutes to your husband about how your acid reflux has been acting up again and you really think the goddamn Purple Pill ain't working and by the way how are your hemorrhoids honey maybe you should try tying a little rubber band around it to choke it off and oh sweet Jesus and we're still 10,000 feet over Oregon, and I am here, paralyzed.

Hang Up Or Get Off The Plane, continued